Radical Honesty

On Hacker News, I read an article about Radical Honesty today: I Think You’re Fat. It really appealed to me. Over the last year, I’ve tried to be more open and honest myself. Not radically honest, though. For me, it was important not to hurt other people’s feelings.

However, when you think of it, you can hurt people more by not being honest. Suppose a friend lets you wait for 45 minutes in a restaurant. I’m naturally conflict avoiding, so when they arrive I’ll say: “no problem”. But this will probably hurt our relationship on the long term, whereas talking it over immediately probably takes away the problem.

I also noticed that the deeper my relationship with somebody, the easier I find it to be radically honest. Or maybe it is the other way around: the more honest I am, the deeper the relationship feels? There certainly is something really nice about being able to say everything to somebody, whether it’s good or bad. For me, it makes the relationship feel stronger.

In my blog, I also try to be very honest about how I think about things. This is definitely scary, especially if it’s about my weak points, things that I’m uncertain about or my failures. But on the other hand, I think especially these points might be the most interesting to read about.

Starting now, I’ll try to be more honest in all my personal relationships. I am not going to be as radical as in the linked article, but we’ll see how this goes.